Exit Stage Left

I've always thought digital cable was just plain stupid. I mean, sure, the picture is clearer and all, but unless you have an HD TV can't you just survive with the regular ol' stuff? I mean, seriously, who needs 600 channels and when do you ever have time to watch them all? Stupid.

When I moved into this house the digital cable was already connected and rather than disconnecting it only to reconnect it in my name Mom and I just decided to leave it the way it was currently set up. Afterall, I had all the channels of necessity: USA, TLC, CNN & MSNBC, plus the requisite TNN & TBS for Saturday "Sloth" day and the price was reasonable (actually, cheap), so I was good to go.

Last night I switched over to MSNBC at 10 sharp to catch "Countdown" and got a strange message: "Channel Not Found. MSNBC. Press info for ordering information." I switched off the cable box, reset it and the Tivo all to no avail. The strangest part of this was that in my bedroom, where there was no digital cable box, all the lower channels came in fine, including all the aforementioned necessities. I figured it was a burb in the system and dismissed it.

Tonight I got home from work fairly late, after a long hellish day, only to find that the same missing channels were still "unavailable." I was pushed to the brink of being a complete bitch today by a patron and decided I wasn't going to let Comcast fuck with me so I called to complain and have the error fixed. The first person I got told me that I subscribed only to the basic service and that those channels were not part of my package.

"But I've had this account for nearly four years..." I said.

"Well, that may be but the technician must have made a mistake. I can reconnect those channels for you, but it will be an additional $30 a month."

I told her I needed to consult my bill and see what was going on and that I'd call back...which I did.

The second person was really nice, but told me the same thing: "it was a technician error and that for the last three and a half years I've [my mom] been getting channels to which we didn't subscribe and that recently an "audit team" had visited my neighborhood and found the error."

"Well, that may be the case," I said, "but that's not my fault."

"It certainly isn't your fault, but if you want to continue receiving them you'll need to upgrade your package. The difference in price is roughly $30."

I could hardly get mad. I mean, I've known Mom had a screamin' deal and it certainly makes sense that Comcast screwed up for what she's been paying. I just politely said, "thank you" and hung up the phone.

At first I was freaked out. I mean, how could I possibly live without access to "Little People, Big World" or "Countdown" (especially "Countdown")? But, then in the back of my mind I had an idea... what if I bypassed the digital cable box and just connected it from the wall? It was giving me the channels that way in my bedroom. So, I gave it a try and guess what, folks? It worked! The picture is not as clear as with the digital box, but Tivo will not have a problem changing the channels this way AND I can watch Keith to my heart's content. I guess we successfully bucked the system for nearly four years, who's to say we can't do it for four more?