Exit Stage Left

I am ALWAYS the third wheel. Well, I shouldn't say "always," sometimes I'm the fifth, seventh and on one occasion even the eleventh wheel. I generally deal with my singledom fairly well managing to not let it get to me too much, but there are times when being the lone singleton begins to grate on my nerves. Such is the issue when it comes to large social events at work.

We have "parties" (they're usually called "galas," but they're really just parties) hosted by our Development department at work pretty regularly. I'm usually invited, which I totally appreciate and love being a part of, but when it comes to the "& guest" permanently attached to my name on invitations I become flabbergasted; I lose all sense of the English language. A guest? Bring someone with me? Yeah, right. Who the hell am I gonna get to dress up in a tuxedo (or at least a suit) and convince to tag along? I have a fair amount of gay male friends and I can't even convince them to accompany me without their S.O.'s. The "& guest" has become the bane of my existence in terms of work functions. I hate trying to find someone to go with me, and I hate even more going by myself. At some point something's gotta give. Do I just give up and stop going? Of course not, I know--there's no way I'd give up access to free drinks-- but the thought has crossed my mind.

I bring this up because in just three short weeks we will celebrate the opening of the 2006/07 DCTC season at the "Rock Me Amadeus" gala. I "& guest" were invited to this event today and the prospect of attending this function without some sort of social, non-work related companion makes me want to poke myself in the eye with a pencil. This is not to say that I don't like my colleagues--I ADORE them (most of them), but when everyone else has a date, why shouldn't I? And, on that note, why DON'T I? It's a party with free theatre tickets and--more importantly--free liquor and I still can't convince anyone to come? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?

I realize that, God willing, someday I'll look back on my days of being single with a sense of yearning and reverie, but in the meantime, I'm beginning to understand how escort services stay in business. Hey, anyone wanna see Amadeus?