Friday, September 22, 2006

 

Babies

I love babies! Love them. It's when they get to age 3 or 4 and older that I start to get a little nervous about them.

When I was 11 I wanted eight kids... I had them all named. Mostly, I think that's the only part of having 11 kids I wanted: naming them. I love names. But, that's neither here nor there at this point. As an adult I've decided that having kids might not be in my cards. I'm pretty selfish, having kids might not be the best thing for me... or for them. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is: I'm in that phase of my life where a lot of my friends are having babies. When you get into your 20's you go through phases. Phases where all your friends get married and then phases where they all decide to procreate. I'm in the procreation phase right now. I've had 11 friends who've had babies this year. 11. That's a lot.

Tomorrow afternoon I get to go to a baby shower. I say "get" because it really is an "honor" to be invited, but as a single girl about as far as you can get from having a baby what do I really have to contribute to this "sacred" event? We're supposed to fill out a card with words of wisdom for the "mom-to-be." What in the world could I possibly have to add? I have two cats who surprise me every day, by managing to survive.

Aside from lacking "words of wisdom" I also lack sufficient funds to bank-roll these baby showers; they wind up being quite expensive. I realize that having babies is expensive but seriously, how has that become my problem?! Well, friends, it has. I've averaged a $50 gift for all these "blessed" events in the last year. That's a lot of money, especially when you multiply that by 11.

I guess since I've pretty much already decided I'm "probably not" going to have kids I'm wondering when the good karma is going to come back around and help me out. I could use some Dansko's to get me through the winter, or a few new handbags, or even just a couple new sweaters. Could some of these new mom's return the favor and help me out? Nah, I didn't think so.

Update: I just got home from the shower, which, surprisingly, wasn't as terrible as I expected. I sat along the "wall of cynicism" with another group of disenchanted women and am pretty sure I'm on my way to hell for some of the comments that I made, but at least it kept me sane.

Comments:
Didn't you see the Sex and the City where Carrie registered for her wedding to herself? Granted, she registered for Manolo's, so I'm not sure you'd get those...but not a bad idea overall!
 
Yeah, I actually meant to mention that SATC episode in the post. Classic. And, so true. Because the jury's still out on whether or not I'll ever get married or have a baby I'd rather save up my "showers" in case either of those things happen, but if I hit 40...watch out 'cause it'll be party time.
 
Maybe this will make you feel better. We met with our new Financial Planner and according to his spreadsheet if we had a child next year, by the time they went to college in 18 years, we would have to pay roughly $250,000 for tuition. That's 2 MILLION if you put 8 kids through school. Holy crap.
 
Holy cow! I've been thinking about this same thing A LOT recently. I'm in the same boat as you: 'probably not' going to happen for me. I thought about this as I was shopping a Bed Bath and Beyond the other day and I got REALLY angry. I think because I saw all these couples filling out their registries. I just wanted to poke out their eyeballs with the Teflon basting brush in my hand. I've decided I'm going to register for the "Hey! Look at me! I graduated college, got my masters, and bought a house so buy me shit" shower.
 
A-freaking-men, sister!
 
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